When I said I needed to get down to writing again, I meant it. Having been absent for a month from actually holding a pen and a piece of paper (I'm being dramatic, actually it was more like keyboard in the laptop, but pen and paper sounds more festive, don't you think?), my charm was deteriorating pretty fast. I always thought I had a wit, but it seems like a shit nowadays instead. Wit, shit, it rhymes, got it?
Man, see what I mean? I even lost my sense of humour, that is, if I even had one in the first place. But that's what I keep telling myself. So don't burst my bubbles.
So looking back to the post that I wrote about the new year resolutions, I was like, “what the fuck?” Not only was it, oh, what was the word, oh, wait, SUCKS! It was too subtle and it didn't express me at all. 'I will not think too much?' Who the hell said that? Go be a statue if you don't wanna think. 'I will find a fulfilling job?' Yeah, doesn't everyone want that? Are any of that junk that I wrote personal at all? 'I will work out more'?! Okay, seriously. At this point I should just kiss-kiss-bang-bang my journalistic passion because I'm an embarrassment!
As if I didn't realize that before, last week this happened when I was talking to my friend Lutz.
Him: “Haha..I'm just reading your new year resolutions..”
Me: “Oh yeah?”
Him: “You know those resolutions are useless if you don't make plans on how to achieve your goals...”
Me: “........”
Him: “Such as I will work out more...”
Me: “Shut up, dude!”
Him: “You have to change your lifestyle in order to make a change!”
Me: “.......”
Him: “Remember you are not Obama!”
Me: “.......”
Him: “It's not easy to make a change!”
Me: “.......”
Him: “CHRISTINOBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: "*^#!&^#!#$@#@!!?!”
Do I even know this guy, really?
No, I'm joking! Okay, okay, dude, my resolutions sucks big time, no reason to gloat! (peace out!) So figured I need to revise that, make it more Tina rather than Christinobama, or at least, explain why I need these changes. And I really need to stick to it!
New Year Resolutions...Part Deux!
I will try not to worry and think too much about everything in life. I tend to over-analyze and get paranoid over the small stuffs, so I really need to learn not to sweat over the tiny bit of details, and just enjoy the ride.
But not thinking too much doesn't mean not thinking at all, because I'm whole-heartedly aware that I have made many mistakes in the past due to the fact that I simply did not think before I acted. People have been telling me that I possess absolutely zero sense of danger, and that's how I lost my brain sometimes. (e.g: drink too much beyond my capability, unable to say 'no', receive drinks from strangers, and et-cetera et-cetera) So, I should be more careful and take these things more seriously!
I will not drunk-dial my ex-boyfriend again, well, I guess that one is pretty personal, no explanation needed. Ha! At least I got one point right! Nah, I think I'm ready to let it go.
I will not drink tequila again, simply because there has been too many drunken episodes caused by this little bugger, and it doesn't even taste good! Unlike Jargerbomb, which I'm totally hooked these days! (Although you probably don't need to know that!)
I will not have alcohol offered by a guy before going out, no matter how cute he is. Back in Oklahoma, I went out with this guy, and the context wasn't even a date, because I brought along another friend. He was picking us up at our room and I thought once he arrived, we could just go out straightaway, but he told me he wanted to come in first, so he did, and he pulled out a bottle of whisky from his pocket and we ended up finishing the whole bottle before even heading out! Bad, bad, bad guy! Stupid, stupid, stupid me! Couldn't really blame the guy entirely 'cos I played along. (see what I mean about being stupid and not thinking before acting?)
I will find a fulfilling, permanent job! And the point here is fulfilling because I don't want just any jobs. Granted I may not get exactly my dream job straightaway, 'international correspondent', just because it's way too ambitious, (I'm a dreamer but even dreamer has to go back to reality sometimes) I shall seek and explore any other opportunities. Speaking of job, I have just finished my resume...I think! Clap!
I will be a better friend because friendship means a tad lot to me, and I'm happy I made a lot of new friends last year, but as important is to keep the old ones. And I intend to do just that.
I will spend more time with my family. During the course of the past few years, I just realized (it just hit me), that family sticks together no matter what. In fact, they probably are the only ones who won't ever leave. Well, I hope it's not only because of obligation. I have great family, everytime I come back home, I'm constantly reminded of that simple but most of times, taken-for-granted fact. For the resolution, though, I'm starting something simple; spending time with my sisters. Meli is coming to Singapore for her undergraduate study and I definitely want lots of bonding time...even if it's over a game in playstation, knowing her.
I will not get too drunk and pass out. Oh my god, so many memories come flooding back. No more any of that! No more throwing up and passing out in public. No more waking up and going like 'what the hell happened?' No more dialling up my friends for vivid details of the events leading to my unconscious state. No more being so embarrassed of seeing people who have witnessed more things than they have bargained for in the eyes. A lot more things. Dammit.
I will maintain my weight. 48 kg, no more, no less. Well, it probably could go down a little bit seeing how chubby I am, but definitely not more. This arm, right here, has got to go, though.
I will not have anything to do with the boy from the seventh floor anymore, simply because I don't want anything out from it, so what's the point? Out of impulse these days I always look up and check on his window to see if his lights are on, and that freaks me out; the fact that I appear to be a little on the stalker-side. And everytime I go down on the lift, I'm anxious that I may bump into him, it's just too weird.
I will read more books and watch more movies.
I will buy myself a new phone, and this has really got to happen. My current phone is ancient, ugly, and friends complain that they often can't reach me, that somehow by miraculous reasons they go straight to mail box. It's time to change this thing I call my handphone, baby.
Lastly, I will involve myself in more positive activities, meet more people and not limit my preferences.
People, it's going to be one bumpy ride.