I realize that I'm a hopeless romantic, yet when it all comes down to it, I act the complete opposite. Most of the times to the people that really matter.
The guy I was seeing at one point called me an ice queen. I assumed he was teasing, and I shrugged it off completely. The thought of me being cold and insensitive, just like that name suggested was beyond incomprehensible.
But the truth is, maybe I am. Maybe I am cold and insensitive, but I never meant to be. I feel like I have to put up this layer of 'protection' in order to ensure my emotional safety. To appear more disinterested, so noone can hurt me.
I suppose that's not the way to live this life, but I'm still trying. I'm afraid of commitment not because I don't wish to be inhibited. I think...I'm afraid because I just don't wanna be in that position. Of, being vulnerable, I guess?