Spidey and his rickshaw are back, plus mom was drunk.

Well, tonight's gig was really fun..voice kinda shot from singing without a mic for three hours but I'm really fucking loud anyway..Parent showed up and my mom got on stage in the middle of a song to tell everyone she met Mickey Rooney..Since I had already heard the story I just sat down and drank my wine while John feigned interest.

Then I met some friends at Mars Bar and on our way up the block we ran into my BFF Spiderman! Shaun is back in NYC with is rickshaw and while I was too tired to get a ride, my friends Nikki and Remi gave it a go..Spidey has a tripod so Remi's camera got a great video of their ride..I tried to catch him doing flips but he's hard to get..

Shameless Self Promotion..

Okay, So I do feel a little bit of shame but this blog is supposed to be my SECRET online diary which all kinds of strangers read. BUT, since East River String Band will be playing for hours upon hours at Le Pescadeux a fancy french eatery this wednesday from 7-10pm..I figure I will post some videos of us playing..some old and some new..The place is at 90 Thompson St in SOHO. Yeah, we are all fancy-that's how we do. So here is some music. This my shit, this my shit...

Emleigh Wolf, Man Pain, and assorted odd photos.

Okay, here are some random pics..I am tired as I stayed up til late late last night talking about weird documentaries I love..Now I'm awake and am going to watch The Cove probably which will make me want to slit my wrists..I hate humans. I want to live on Chimp Island and feed the dolphins. Or pass gas on them..something..anything..

First pic is at the newly reopened flea market on Avenue A and 11th st lot. Yay! I get so much good stuff there for cheap..The sight of junk laying on blankets makes me really happy..I actually have dreams that i'm shopping and finding great clothes and stuff..I'm such a girl, really. Or one of The Greys. Or both. I want to be beamed up to Fluffy Pink Cat Island and have my own unicorn. Then to offset the flea market, we have the huge Limo bus. I went in for a minute and, much like my experience in the party bus-it seemed all sticky and smelled like regret.

Then just two pics I thought were funny..Poop, Bling and the Fiesta Hydrant. Hurrah.

And here is the very funny Emleigh Wolf performing at Penny's Open Mic at the Theater Under St. Marks..It's every tuesday at 9:00pmish. Man Pain!

I'm Gonna Get You Sukkah.

Okay, so I passed by Union Square a few days ago and saw all these modern art looking Sukkah's and was kinda freaked out. Last time there was one there I was attacked by jews who somehow can always sense another jew and they dragged me into it and made me do a prayer and yelled at me when I pronounced things wrong..Scared for life I tell you..sniff...

But apparently these very strange Sukkot were part of this project and Mayor Douchebag chose a winner..I took a bunch of pics of 'em and here they are. It was kinda more funny when I didn't understand what was going on and I pictured all these hassidic jews dropping acid and special K and building these structures..My favorite one is, of course, the one made of homeless panhandling signs that were bought off of various people.

Anyass, I'm gonna get outdoors and enjoy this awesome warmness going on out there..then head to Bowery Poetry maybe for Reverend jen's Anti-Slam open mic shindig..

Lions, and Tigers, and Sheep... Oh My!

We are in the middle of our trip,
but wanted to drop you a line
from the road.

Here are some pictures of our time in Ireland.

We've seen Dublin, castles, monastaries, millions of sheep,
and played as much as we can in the outdoors
as the sunshine would allow!

Did you know we started Harding England facebook page?
*Like* us here, and our adventures can be posted in your newsfeed!

Mars bar. Feel the love!

Well here are some very normal, very sweet, loving pics from Mars bar the other night..Everyone was in a good mood and just wanted to have their photos taken being all lovey and shit..Except for Yannis and I at the top one..I find him incredibly annoying and have punched him in the head several times which he either doesn't remember or doesn't care about. He likes to invite me to his place..I said i would only go if he had a hot tub and he wasn't there.

Then we have Shayne, Leee Black Childers(famed photographer and Mars Bar regular!), and I..Sheikera, Shayne and Gregory S., Gregory and I, Greg and Leee, Leee and I..and Shayne and Leee..Leee took some pics too which I'm sure are way better but I haven't seen them..

Let's see..what's new..what's new...welp..I'll be applying for all kinds of AFTRA work if I can this fall now that i've joined..doing exteriors in the cold won't bother me-I lived without heat and peed in a bucket for over a decade...I am VERY hungover today due to my new obsession with margaritas. I'm planning to go see On the Bowery this week-it looks freakin' awesome! The Enablers are playing Theatre 80 this Friday-a Tribute to Carnaby St so that'll be fun..I think there is a show in Tompkins Sunday..just all kinds of stuff going on PLUS 80 degree weather all week! FUCK YEAH!

Also, my headshots and (sparse) resume are going to be passed on to the extras casting folks on Friday at SNL. If I can be a BG extra on that show I will crap my pants with happiness. In fact i'll crap YOUR pants as well! I LOVE Will Forte and Kristen Wiig! If I'm on there as an extra I will do my best to be funny and make them love me.

Anycrack..smell you all later!


And maybe I'll sleep at the station because there's nothing to go home to but an empty fridge and some stale mayonnaise.

And maybe I'll make friends with the guys sleeping under cardboard boxes and newspapers and we'll discuss what it means to love and to live.

And maybe I'll wander the city, one lost particle in a dust storm of Mondays, late nights and reports due yesterday.

And maybe I'll get on a plane or a ship and get lost in places I've never been lost in before.

And maybe I'll keep my phone on me in case you call. And tell me there's something to come home to.

Pemaquid, Pemaquid

We had a splendid ride last Saturday through Winthrop, Monmouth, and Manchester, and a delightful post-ride party with great food and company. Many thanks to Denise for leading the ride and opening up her house for us - and providing the great food afterwards. Thanks, Denise!
This Sunday's KVBC ride will return to the scenic Pemaquid Peninsula with a great ride along the shore. The route is not only scenic, but also a great trip to the ocean, and there are many great places to stop and see the sights. Hope you can join us! (Photo: Maine Office of Tourism.)

Sunday, September 26th; DAMARISCOTTA
"Drafting through Damariscotta, Pedalling to Pemaquid" - a tour through Bristol, Bremen, Pemaquid and Damariscotta.
START: 9:30 AM at the landing at the North end of Biscay pond. From the north, take Belvedere Road east off of Rt. 1. The Miles Hospital Hospice Building is on the corner. At the stop sign turn right onto Business Rt. 1 and at the traffic light by McDonald's turn left onto Biscay Road. From the south, turn off Rt. 1 onto Business Rt. 1, pass thru town & turn right at the light by McDonald's onto Biscay Road. Follow Biscay Road until you come to a small beach and landing on the right (the water is close to the road). Park on the wide shoulder on either side of the beach.
DISTANCE: 25-30 miles.
TERRAIN: Moderately hilly to Hilly.
HIGHLIGHTS: scenic roads within the Pemaquid Peninsula, fresh and salt water views abound.
LEADER: Sandi Hodge.

Beautiful stranger

Even though you're the most hopeless guy, I like the way you get me all giddy and dreamy whenever I think about you.

I feel like a little girl who's just had her first crush with someone she barely knew. I guess in a way I have to thank you for reminding me that at least I still have a soul. The ability to like someone in the most innocent way, the easiest way.

Not that I think we'll ever have a chance. But it's alright. I like liking you as it is. I think I'll freak out if I get something more out of it.

So. Stay that way. Stay mysterious and nonchalant. You're cute that way. ;)

No matter where you go, bring your love with you.

One is the loneliest number!

So my ex-colleague is getting married and she messaged us a few weeks back over at Facebook to let us know that we are all invited to the party. She included a bunch of us ex-colleagues in the message and said:

"Hey, so PJ + bla bla (her respective other), Rachel + bla bla (her respective other), Bee Hwee + bla bla (her respective other - in fact her husband!), Seraph + bla bla (her respective other), Christina, ...."


>No plus, not even a fake name inserted there to save my pride. That's it, just comma!! So saaaddd!!!

I was hit by the realization that I may be the only single one among us. Heck, I may be the only single one in town! In the whole Singapore! *insert all sorts of mockery here* Go ahead, you know you want it.

While everyone is going to be there with their plus one, the fact that I will be going alone will be magnified and people will start to talk. A girl at a certain age, alone, unacceptable! I anticipate whispers and gossips as people stared, trying to find out what's wrong with me, and within 5 seconds of talking to me, they would understand why.

I've been living with myself for the past 23 years! Now you know why I'm crazy sometimes!

Aside from the sad prospect of going solo to attend a beautiful wedding ceremony of a lovely friend of mine, I am absolutely excited to meet my ex-colleagues!

p.s: By the way, in case you couldn't tell, this is meant to be a joke! ;))

p.s.s: I'm writing this while listening to Lil' Wayne - I'm Going Solo. It's a cruel coincidence, isn't it? Ha!

The Fame Game..

Just a quick post to self promote myself because an entire blog dedicated to my lame life is just NOT ENOUGH!

Newsflash: If you can't get enough of me or you hate my guts and like making fun of me please follow me on Twitter..under Eden_Brower. I really don't know how the fuck it works but I DO know that 50 Cent is nuts and taking up my whole feed. WTF? Wotta freak! I'll try my hand at tweeting and twattering so my stalkers can know exactly where I am and what i'm doing. It's only fair..

Also I just joined AFTRA today..finally! So all you union busters can suck my dick! I almost have a real job now if I keep getting calls..After my scene of slutitude with Leguizamo who is very nice..I think I really do want to pursue acting along with the band of course..Life should be doing what you love and if you can make money at it then you got it made. I, myself just want everyone to love me due to a poor childhood and a bad hair life. Someone make me famous quick before I turn 50. For reals, yo.

And lastly but not leastly..I went to The Delancey last night to see a show..been catching a lot of shows lately and there are two Enablers gigs coming up..yay! Here is a funny song by Kill the Band featuring Killy Dwyer singer and perfomer and just all around swell gal I think..She needs to be more famous too. As does my cat Delgado. Here's her doing Ben Kingsley. Catch her playing if you can around town..East River String Band has a gig in October at Jalopy and maybe one at Banjo Jim's too perhaps..

Here's Killy...

Have been.

I know you're just a rag doll now, sewn together with memories that we might have had.
I know you're just the dream inside of a dream
And don't worry, I know I don't know you, anymore.

Dentist visit

I have never liked the word D! Dragon! Doctor! Dentist! Double D!

But now I'm gonna talk about my dysfunctional relationship with the d in dentist! As a kid, my brain has already been shutting down and rejecting the idea of going to the dentist. Gosh, I can still remember the fear I would have just by sitting at the waiting room, trying so hard to distract myself by reading magazines, but of course it didn't really help. In my mind I kept thinking I heard some screaming going on inside the room. Maybe my parents would have heard that too, and thus, rescued me from the premises.

And of course! The smell! Why is it that all dentist offices have the same smell?! Do they have the same air freshener? Is there a handbook on that? You can't be certified as a dentist unless you buy this freshener which smells like, pain and fear!

To conclude, it's safe to say that I would be really, really content and pleased with myself if I don't ever need to pay a visit to this fine establishment again. But the time has come and I have to fulfill my destiny! Since a few days ago I've been having toothache, which came on and off. Well, I could still eat and the pain wasn't so intense that prohibited me from doing anything else. For most parts it was still tolerable, so I thought initially it was just a case of sensitive tooth from something I might have eaten.

It wasn't until yesterday that the pain was getting more intense and at night I couldn't sleep because my tooth was throbbing, and there's nothing I could do about it! In the morning I thought I couldn't be able to get up and go to work, but somehow I managed. And yeah, the pain was still on-and-off and during the day, I didn't feel as much pain at work as I was during the night before.

But it's clear that something was wrong, and I wasn't about to wait until the pain got worse, so this morning I started calling dentist offices to make an appointment. Alright, I'm starting to bore you so I'm gonna speed up. Let's just say that it freaking hurts during the examination!

It was bad enough having a throbbing tooth, it was even worse when someone kept poking and scratching it! (And for your information, there! The smell was there again! I told you - same air-freshener.) By the end of it, I almost couldn't speak because the dentist gave me some anesthetic so I couldn't feel the left side of my mouth. Isn't it crazy, how something so small like a tooth (which otherwise you wouldn't pay too attention to, I mean, compared to let's say, your arm! Or your leg) could generate that much pain.

Once my toe nail broke and shite, I almost pissed myself out of pain. And it's just a freaking toe nail! What happens if my fingers got cut off!!! Maybe I'll pass out. *touch wood, touch wood!*

Anyway, yeah. They did an x-ray too, and my wisdom teeth were in the wrong direction. Although, they were all at the very back so the doctor said it's not that urgent to get them removed. Eventually I need to, though. He mentioned that these days all you gotta do is sleep, and they would remove all of them during your sleep, and you would wake up feeling nothing and no pain and the procedure is done! Sign me up, please! That's the best method I've ever heard. They need to apply the same method to..child birth process, I'd say. Ha!

Sorry, getting sidetracked here. So, after the long and painful examination and treatment, the dentist gave me a painkiller to last me 12 hours each, so tonight I expect a painless sleep. But that treatment only already cost me $170!

Please, don't remind me of all the nice things I could have bought with that $170! But I guess, that's the price I have to pay for not having throbbing toothache again!

Dang it. See, I told you I don't like the word D!

The Good, The Bad..and The Fugly.

Well, things are pretty, pretty good...the bad was that my cat harlequinn seemed on her deathbed yesterday and the night before..not drinking water, not eating much..puking and shitting abounding..Couldn't take her to her regular vet til thursday..then suddenly today she is back to her old lovey self..They are running new pipes in our bathroom all week and maybe she inhaled or ate some plaster or something..I always get freaked out about cancer since my Junior dog went through chemo and died-worst year of my life almost..But she seems more than swell now and i'm so so glad..She's a rescue and has always been sensitive...She almost got killed when a pit bull locked on her once-i found her hiding behind drywall two days after she was taken by the neck and shaken..I got the dog off her by pouring old beer up it's nose..Yeesh!

Anyfart, she is good and i'm glad. Now this first pic is of some Blood candy being sold at rite-aid..I know vampires are in and all..and i've always had a fondness for biting people...but this is candy? An IV of blood? Damn, what happened to giving kids apples with razor blades in them? Apples dyed and waxed and pumped with unhealthy shit? I miss my childhood! I think i'll be New World Order Barbie™ for halloween this year. I love that damn holiday.

Then a quite stern sign put on some bikes chained up somewhere..Sign, sign, everywhere a sign...THEN, most wonderously, I had my first "featured" extra role on Fugly, the John Leguizamo film being shot right now! I am definitely in this one..not just the back of my head..I pass him my number in a copy of Othello then look him up and down while licking my lips seductively..which was hard to do because he was doing the same thing with his toungue and making me laugh until it turned into me making the international sign for a BJ while giggling like a dork. I did okay I think..and it was neat and quite new to be referred to as the "talent" and have the whole crew know my name and assure me I did good..sigh...John L. said he liked old blues and wants to come to my gigs so i gave him my Cd and he turned out to be a big fan of Crumb so that was neat..This film is his semi-autobiography I guess..It also has Ally Sheedy in it and an actor from Silence of the lambs which impressed me more than anything else..All in all a good day and I got to act! Like a whorebag sure..but STILL! I knew ACTING like I know how to act would someday turn into actual ACTING! I fooled them all! Though I did ask Leguizamo if he was gay..Well? I thought he was! My number was 555-6969 by the way..Those pics are of the 80's wigs we had to wear..It was fun dressing up all 80's with the other gals..I knew at least 4 or 5 people from other sets..

Well, I'll try to blog more this week..I attended a grudge match at Marfa..and I'll go out adventuring soon...must..blog...more....!!
Eden Bee-slutbag #1!


What is up with the water lately? Do I miss my memo that today people are allowed to be jerks? And I thought girls are supposed to be the sensitive ones.

Sometimes I wonder if I should stop being so jokingly all the time. I cover my awkwardness with jokes, trying to be funny ha-ha to make people laugh, even if that makes me look silly. My sisters always say that I'm the clown in the family, not necessarily because I'm always happy, but because when I am, I think I kinda overdo it. Some people may call me lame. The kinder ones would say I'm a little bit, well, kinda, funny. Sometimes.

Anyway, what happened earlier, I was just being my usual lame slash funny self, and I was in no way trying to hint anything or even being sarcastic. To have you suddenly explode on me like that wasn't cool at all.

I mean, how long have you known me? How long have we known each other? I know you get stressed out a lot, I know you're an overachiever and you hate failing and you hate disappointing your friends, but seriously. The more you think about it, the more you make it as a pressure, the more you're gonna piss off the people who care about you.

We've been through this more than once. I feel like, this is always the part where we get frustrated with each other. You're probably thinking the same thing about me. Oh, I'm too lame, I joke when it's not the time to, I'm too sensitive, I'm too negative, or whatever else you may think of.

But I've never listened to your one liner and just immediately jumped into conclusion and threw a tantrum. The whole thing today, it really threw me off. I don't know that I have been a part of the things that have been stressing you out. Like, I demanded something in the midst of your busy, crazy life. I've always understood all of that, and it's part of the reason why I just wanna cheer you up every time we talk. It's not by any means, meant to push your buttons.

I know, that I'm not supposed to have expectations now. I think we both know that. Realistically speaking, you shouldn't have expectations for me either. I'm sorry if you feel that way, especially if you feel that my expectation is stressing you out. Then don't. Really, don't let it. I never meant it to be.

I think it's best that we deal with ourselves for now. We have been extremely busy these days, haven't we? Yeah, it's alright. Let it just flow. We'll find ways to catch up somehow. For now, maybe you should focus on your life, and don't let me distract you. We'll both be okay. I'm alright. I'm just really tired.

Anyway. I'm done rambling. I was browsing through IMDb earlier and I came across this quotes from the movie In the Land of Women. I saw it on DVD a while back, and thought it was pretty decent. Maybe I'm biased 'cos Adam Brody was in it. So, there's this quote I like. It goes something like this.

There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy, and it's chaotic, and it's never, never ever the thing you'd expect. It is ok to be scared, but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an asshole, not when it comes to the people that love you, the people that need you.

I know sometimes I may be guilty on that too. But I'm trying not to. Because it always sucks when people take out their uncalled anger on you. So, I'm trying not to ever do that again.

Hot to {Globe} Trot

The day has come.

September 15... at last.

The journey has begun!

Adventures and memories of a lifetime
lie waiting for us
on the other side of the sea.

We can't wait to share in our journeys with you
during the 2010 fall semester in London! 

Quote of the Day

I may still not know what I want to be when I grow up, but I do want to live in a house filled with books and travel souvenirs. And the walls that aren’t covered in bookshelves will be covered with photos of my family and friends. When I leave the house I will be going to a job I love and I’ll return to a person I love. So, that’s the dream I’m working on.


So things were so hectic at work today that I didn't have much time to pause and think. It was only at 4pm that my dad talked to me over the messenger and said that today exactly marks three years since the day you've been away.

He said, "I'm sure she is happy now seeing all of you."

That is the only comfort I should believe, right? I probably have said it before, and if I have, then bear with me or don't even bother to continue reading.

For years you have led me the way and I am who I am today because of you, and yet you aren't here. It doesn't seem right. I want you to be here and see that I finally got my act together. That I'm no longer hopeless, or dependent. In my tiny mind, I am making something out of myself, or at least I'm going there.

I want you to see that for the past three years, I have changed. People say that you never know what you have 'til it's gone. I've always been so aware of your influence in my life, the big part you have taken in making me who I am today, and yet only since you were gone that I needed to make a change. I could no longer be the same, irresponsible daughter, and sister.

It's not that I am strong. But I don't have a choice and this whole experience taught me to cherish and not take things for granted. At least when it comes to the people who love you. Your family. That is the most important thing.

What I'm saying is, it's not right that you are not here. You should know that I can make my own way now, that I don't have to be lost on my own anymore. And it's all because of you.

The only thing that I want is for you to be happy, and for you to be proud of me.

Bohemian Winthrop

Hi Everyone! Hope you have been able to enjoy some of the great cycling weather of the past few weeks. After a short hiatus we will take up where we left off, and return to one of our favorite ride locales, leaving from Tom's Bike Boutique in East Winthrop. Not only has Denise a great ride for us, she has also arranged for a post-ride pot luck at her house in Manchester, about two miles from the start. Denise says she will have some chili, cornbread, fruit salad, and cookies - bring what you like to share. If you have things that need to keep warm or cool, contact Denise about dropping things off before the ride. And if you need to keep warm or cool after your sojourn through bohemian Manchester, Denise says she'll have her hot tub fired up and at the ready. There you go! Just don't forget to bring your bike.

Saturday, September 18th - EAST WINTHROP
"Wandering Around Winthrop" - a tour through the bohemian environs of Winthrop and vicinity.
START: 9:00 AM at the parking lot of Tom's Bike Boutique, 2208 Rt.202 in East Winthrop, across from D.R Struck's Nursery.
DISTANCE: 25-30 miles.
TERRAIN: moderate with some hills.
HIGHLIGHTS: Some nice lakeside runs along backroads in Winthrop, Monmouth, and Manchester. Post-ride gathering at the ride leader's house.
LEADER: Denise Crowell.

I like books. (more than people?)

I miss having a good read. ;)

Howl Festival at Tompkins Square Park

Here are a messload of pics of some of the art around the park for this weekends Howl festivities at Tompkins..Tomorrow I play at 5:30pm til 6pm at the lower east side girl's club circus stage in the lot on tenth st..Circus Amok will also be performing-hope I can catch them-they are amazing!
So my friend Copper Cowboy is in here somewhere doing his copper robot thing..and my friend Amy painting an eerie awesome piece of work..And Touching You's anti-bloomberg piece..and Daniella La Bocca's tribute to the goddess and the LES..and of course, the guy who draws the people sunbathing on Mount Booby in bathing suits..and Chico was there as well doing a mural..And the LES Girl's club had some great sideshow like paintings up and a mechanical merry-go-round and a mobile giant girl's chair which I will try and get video of manana..
Tomorrow will bring more art and music..and ME ME ME! I hope it don't rain..