I may be imperfect, but I'm perfectly me.

Growing up is a funny thing. And let me tell you why.

You remember when we were small at how we all used to write things in our tiny little secretive journals? How we made everyone swear in the name of their most valuables that they would never take a peek into our diaries because oh, what we wrote was so scandalous and juicy? Yep, even when the most exciting thing in our lives that we could write about was our secret crush on the boy next door? No, not the gardener, this isn’t Desperate Housewives, please. Anyway, you know, that sort of thing?

Well, I was one of those people. Even as a child, I was a diary-junkie. I kept journals, in fact, a whole lot of them because I would get bored of writing in the same diary for a long period of time so after like, a month or so of writing almost everyday in the same book, I would get that itch to buy another one and start new in those fresh untouched papers and that’s the vicious cycle. I know, short attention span, right? Well, okay, so the old diaries (and every one of them all became old eventually) were always put to waste because they weren’t even full yet. Being somewhat of a geek, I’ve always loved stationary and the best shopping spree ever to me was buying sets of new colorful pens and organizers. Hey, there are a lot worse addictions out there, okay! Pens are so less harmful, and at least they’re cheap! My dad wouldn’t have headache this often if my obsession now is only limited to papers and pencils. So, anyway, I had up to ten journals and rereading all those entries again when I’m at least eight years older (much less-dramatic and more realistic, I hope) is amusing and embarrassing at the same time.

In addition to being an ungrateful spoiled little brat (for wasting papers and therefore, contributing towards the early stage of global warming), I was also a complete list-freak. I would make a list of everything I could possibly make a list out. And I couldn’t just do that in mind, I had to write them all and perhaps I did that because I just loved to write too much so everything I felt had to be written down, I don’t know. Or maybe I was just simply a freak who has some kind of compulsive disorder. Well, anyway, I re-opened all my journals, and the oldest that I could find was from 1999 and I couldn’t believe how funny I sounded! I listed everything, from all the books I owned (as if I wanted to open a library or something), magazines, cassettes, favorite film characters, television shows, and oh geez, I’m so ashamed, top three guys whom I wanted to marry in the future.

I wrote all sorts of ridiculous things, but reading all of these again reminds me of how naïve and free and innocent I was. Okay, maybe not so innocent since I have been thinking of marrying someone when I was only, what, 12?

I guess in a way I forgot about that. I forgot about the way I used to be, the way I used to think and write, the way I used to feel. I forgot about how crazy I was towards The X-Files (okay, David Duchovny in specific), and Joshua Jackson, and Hewitt the tennis player, and Seifer from Final Fantasy, and Brian from the Backstreet Boys; I forgot how obsessive I got to comic books and Sweet Valley novels; I forgot how nauseatingly girly I got when I had crush on the boy next door (seriously, he has the fairest thigh I have ever seen! Oops, not that I have seen a lot. How could I get to take a look at his thigh? Oh chill, it was a coincidence, he just happened to appear in shorts when I happened to drop by to his house, okay, Completely and utterly coincidental. Geez, I was 17.) I had a lot of funny thoughts that I expressed in writings and now, years from then, it's hard to believe it was me who wrote these all.

But at the same time, it's almost like I could still understand it somehow. Even though I couldn’t put a finger as to why I could get so engrossed to certain things, I could understand, almost remember, that they were indeed very important at one point in my life.

It seemed like a long time ago but then again, maybe not so much. I guess I can still be that dramatic sometimes, it’s just the subject of my obsession is more justifiable now. Is it, really? Well, it’s funny that no matter how older you become, deep inside you’re still the same. I mean, okay, so I was obsessed with comics when I was 14 and I’m not anymore, but do I still like comics? Sure, I still read comics from time to time, the difference is just if there aren’t any, I wouldn’t go looking for it, and I sure wouldn’t spend all my pocket money on them like I used to.

And yeah, I might be crazily in love with Joshua Jackson and David Duchovny back in time, but do I still think they are good-looking now? Sure. I wouldn’t say, “Oh my goodness, they scared the beejezus out of me!” but I wouldn’t go around looking for their posters anymore. You know what I mean? Come to think of it, my interests are still the same, it’s just that the comic books are replaced by novels; and television series with only bunch of good looking actors are substituted by movies and series with good story lines.

I would still watch Buffy and think that it’s good, but I wouldn’t think the world is going to fall on me if I miss just one episode. And I still like writing in colorful pens, it’s just that I have so many leftovers I don’t feel the overwhelming urge to buy new ones just yet, unlike that time when I was in high school that I just kept buying and buying until my pencil case was the size of pregnant stomach of a cow and everyone in class could just borrow pens from me and I still had enough to sell and use the money to buy candies to feed the entire third world countries.

And I'm certainly still a little list-freak and an ever bigger stationery and writing-nerd.

So yeah. Does this all make sense? I guess there's a line in Before Sunset when one of the character says, "Nothing in the world could change our disposition". I mean, the basic nature of a person. There's another quote that says, "On the whole, the happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except that they are so." I believe that we don't really change that much at all.

I worry I've been writing too much already, so forgive me. I'm kinda thinking out loud and yeah, it's very interesting, don't you think? You've outgrown yourself in a lot of ways, but in essentials, in your most basic nature, you are almost exactly the same.

no crying over spilled milk.

I have given you plenty of chances and extended a hand if you ever needed it.

But to be honest, I’m getting a little tired. Besides, it shouldn't be this hard.

I probably will never understand why, but maybe that’s alright.

You've made it perfectly clear anyway.

I’d rather focus on the people who think that I’m important in their lives.

I’d rather surround myself with those who don’t mind squeezing me in.

You’re not here but it’s okay.

And just so you know, the next move is yours.

On to the next..

Don't you just love the feeling of accomplishment after another job well-done?

I came across this quote by Douglas Adams that I couldn't agree more! He says, "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

And it's so true! I was involved in this event at work and we've all been working hard and lots of stress and pressure were on us as the big day approached. I remember going there to do all the preparation and thinking, "man, I just wanna get this over with." My supervisor sarcastically said, "I think I'll only get my appetite back after this whole thing is over," when someone offered her food.

It was our responsibility to make sure everything ran smoothly, and so many last-minute details were made, just adding to the mount of pressure. The day itself was so hectic that I couldn't stop for a minute to enjoy the event. You know, after all I'm still learning and all.

But finally, it was over and perhaps at that time, I could only think about how tired I was, and how I couldn't wait to go back home and get a long hard sleep. Yeah, of course we were all tired, but there's another sense of relief and satisfaction too, in a way. After which, we all treated ourselves to some food and it was like, 'okay, we've made this happen. Now on to the next project..'

Which is how I like it. I mean, I think we all love deadlines for the fact that we know that by then, everything would be over. It's what keeps us going, I guess. We won't be stuck in one thing for too long, and there's always another new thing waiting after we're finished with one.

I feel like I'm a part of something now, and it's a good feeling I'd rather keep for now. After a few months working, it's hard to imagine myself not doing anything. Although I do moan a lot about it sometimes, generally it's because working is physically tiring. But I really enjoy the work itself, especially that feeling we get for having worked hard for something and really seeing it happening.

I hope the feeling stays.

Missing You

I want you to notice when I’m not around. ♥

White Lie or Webb Lie?

In the October 20, 2009 Springdale Chamber of Commerce Board of Directors Minutes, President/CEO Perry Webb reported after reviewing the July, August and September financial statements he had to transfer $50,000 from the Chamber's reserve account to the operating account.

Webb goes on to say that this is the first time in fifteen years this had been necessary.

That being the case, I wonder what this $100,000 transfer from the reserve account to the operating account made much less than fifteen years ago (June 2008) was for.

John's guitar gives up during our set in Memphis..

John's guitar slowly breaking during our set in Memphis at the Folk Alliance..Wah!

Legal Expense

The Springdale Chamber of Commerce reported on their IRS Form 990 that they spent ZERO dollars for legal expenses in calendar year 2008. If that is the case, what or who was the $7,306.25 in payments to Little Rock Law Firm Friday, Eldredge & Clark for?

A Quick One =)

Really sorry!! I have no time to update this! Stick around, please. I'll get something done over the weekend, hopefully.

In the mean time, happy mid-week, everyone! I'm quite excited that my dad is coming tomorrow, I kinda miss the big guy. And I have an exciting project at work at the moment. Plus, this Saturday a few colleagues and I are covering a story for the website. In short, I'm pumped!

Gonna leave you guys with a quote:

Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.

Remember, it always seems impossible until it is done.

US Chamber

A few days ago we talked about Mayor Sprouse being featured in the U.S. Chamber of Commerce magazine, Free Enterprise.

With all the negative publicity the U.S. Chamber has received lately, I'm not sure this is an organization the Mayor should be proud to be associated with.

Then again, apparently he is proud to be a member of Springdale's Chamber Board of Directors who openly support the US Chamber on their facebook page and in their newsletter The Business Intelligence Report.

By the way, between 2006 and 2008 the Springdale Chamber handed over to the U.S. Chamber a whopping $23,581.00. This does not include the $17,883.33 paid to "Your Chamber Connection" which may or may not be connected.

Lindsey Files Chapter 7

Everyone seems to be talking about John David Lindsey's recently filed Chapter 7 bankruptcy petition.

The multi-million dollar filing included three Springdale banks, the Chamber of Commerce and many other businesses and individuals.

The Iconoclast

Rogers Arkansas Blog

The following are listed as creditors from Springdale:

B&M Lawncare
Bolt & Screw Supply
Bub's, Inc.
Bumper to Bumper
Digital Printing Solutions
E&E Parts & Equipment
Farris Insurance
First Federal Bank
Fuel & Supplies, Inc.
G&C Family, LLC
Heritage Hills, POA
Kiewit Southern
Layman's General Hardware
Liberty Bank
Marks Supply
Moore's Retread & Tire
National Home Center
Neil Johnson
Northwest Tire Service
Offset Press Ink
Ozark Laser Systems
Peaks Homes 2
Precision Service & Sales
Ruby Lawson
Springdale Chamber of Commerce
Springdale Water Utilities
The Peaks at Pinnacle Hills
Today's Office
Tuscaney LLC
United Bank
Word's Electric

John with Vera and Christian doing Hesitation Blues in lobby at Folk Alliance.

Pics from Folk Folk Alliance in Memphis.

Alright, just got back from the Folk Alliance in Memphis..had a fun time. Such a weird fest-bands just playing all around the lobby and rooms of this fancy hotel trying to get attention and maybe signed. We gave out a ton of CD's and met some cool folks..and it was 60 degrees there! Now I REALLY can't wait until springtime here..

Anycrunk, here's a lot of pics..Beale Street on a rainy day, The amazing Martin Family at their room showcase, Me listening to our recording done on a real Edison cylinder! So fucking great!

The Edison set up, Dom Flemons playing, a few of John and I doing our showcase which was really fun, A drawing someone did of Dom on the Art Wall, Respect the music, yo!, Morgan O'kane and his band playing, Elvis the priest and I..Man, I really hate Elvis. Now more than ever!

Some bands playing in the lobby..and the crossroads sign telling everyone where stuff was. There was constant music and jamming and on the 19th floor they had redbull, vodka, and food after midnight. I was a bit tired to really drink or party that much..but now that I'm back I'll be sure to make up for that!
Our next gig is at The Delancey this thursday the 25th at 10:45pm..168 Delancey Street. Show starts at 9pm.

The Truth Hurts

Just a few weeks ago, the Springdale Chamber of Commerce reported to the city council that unemployment is down, new business is up and everything looks rosy for the future (especially the ballpark district).

Then I read the Arkansas Watch blog. Moderator Mike Moore steers us to a nationwide interactive map of unemployment from January 2007 to December 2009. Click play and witness the frightning unemployment statistics from the U.S. Department of Labor Bureau of Labor Statistics.


Fun party night at our favorite club, Attica.

A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.

Economic Report - January 2010

The Springdale Chamber of Commerce is required to submit to the city council, documentation of where taxpayer money given to the chamber by the city is spent.

Perry Webb was quoted in December, "the reports will include invoices to show the money spent from public funds."

Well, the January 2010 economic report doesn't exactly say anything like that. The report consists of vague notations like a meeting here, a visit there, and maybe a discussion. The chamber doesn't name names and I didn't see any invoices.

Basically jobs are up, unemployment down, and the chamber is consulting about the ballpark region.

What question about money?

The Truths about Geeks!

So I came across this the other day and I couldn't not share! Not only do I agree with the things said there, but they're forgetting one important point: that geeks are hot! Who can resist those black-rimmed glasses? (Okay, I may be the only one..Damn.)

Enjoy anyway!

Why Geeks Make Good Lovers

One of the Universal Truths that lie just beyond the fabric of modern society is the axiom that geeks, along with nerds and other peoples who overinvest in intelligence but boast underdeveloped social skills, make the best lovers. Once people realize this, the sexual revolution that will sweep through western culture will make the seventies look like the fifties, and I’m not talking about wider pants. The reasons why geeks are unparalleled as lovers are simple and many:

Geeks don’t sleep around. Geeks, through their higher IQ and therefore greater understanding of the tragedy of human condition, know that the dice only seem to have more sides on the other side of the table. Hence, they instinctively stay loyal to their lovers through thick and thin. Their social skills are also not well developed enough to support an affair, and frankly, geeks generally aren’t quite sure how they ended up with the lover they have attracted. When you date a geek, you know the geek will be yours until you are done.

Geeks are good at the things they try. When’s the last time you met a geek who didn’t have some secret skill just simmering below the surface of a simple-seeming life, honed in the wee hours of the night? It could be hacking, playing video games, or the ability to insert and remove those stupid computer power plug things from drives without cursing or breaking a finger. Let sex become their new favorite late-night hobby, and you know that a geek won’t quit until he or she has learned how to hack into your brainstem through specific genitalia interfacing in parallel with general dermal and oral bonding.

Geeks are not interested in status. Geeks became geeks because they chose to spend their time doing things that would not necessarily make them popular with everyone else in school, like sports and fashion. The ability to resist peer pressure is important to a geek. This means that a geek is more interested in their or your happiness than looking good to others, which will come in handy when either (a) you need attention, in any sort ranging from the nurturing to the lascivious, and also, because both of those things are not necessarily unorthagonal dimensions, any combination of the two, or (b) you need to be rescued because it is the climax of a teen 80’s movie. Or both.

Geeks haven’t formed bad habits. After years of serially dating lots of other women, many socially successful guys have become too confident to be intimate, think of women only for sex, and don’t have any intention of letting what in their minds is “just another girlfriend” enjoy the last spring roll. Let us not even pry into the diabolical, dark, twisted, and depraved mind of the girl who has serially dated many men. None of this is true of the geek, however. The lack of past romantic partners allows the geek to approach lovers with the zest of the neophyte. Geeks are not full of romantic confidence; however, once coaxed from their emotional holes like tame bunnies, they are eager to please and enjoy their newfound relationship.

Geeks can concentrate. Geeks can focus their energy on one task with the intensity of a hunting cheetah. Granted, the task they are focusing on may have more to do with hunting orcs with a +1 Sword of Piercing rather than hunting gazelles with claws, but the fact remains that a geek, once set upon a task and given Mountain Dew, becomes a tireless slave to their goal. Put a six-pack of Dew on the bedside table and a geek between the sheets, and you have found yourself one relentless lover. When’s the last time all night actually meant all night? When’s the last time you were with someone who, if they needed more of the night, knew how to get it?

Geeks have excellent finger dexterity. Geeks roll dice. Geeks play video games. Geeks flip pages in books. Geeks type a lot, and use characters like ~ and ^ and | that no one else has any use for. Geeks use calculators in postfix notation. As a result, a geek knows how to use his or her fingers to greatest possible effect. Whether you have a button that needs pushing or a joystick that needs joy, a geek is the person for the job.

Geeks have imagination. Once you have found your amazing lover, you wouldn’t want things to become boring. That is where geeks prove their real worth. Replayability is important to the value-conscious video-game playing geek, and this translates to relationships as well. Wouldn’t you want to date someone who has created a Quake 3 mod? Wouldn’t you want to date someone who has written steamy Everquest fan fiction involving elven incest? Wouldn’t you want to date someone who wished they were Morpheus rather than someone who wished they were Barry Bonds?

There are plenty of other reasons why geeks are the best lovers around, but don’t just take my word for it. Find the nearest sexy geek and coax that person into asking you out, even if you have to do so using instant messanger. Remember: the only non-sexy geek is a single geek.

Chamber Board

Springdale Mayor Doug Sprouse is featured in the February issue of the U.S. Chamber's magazine, Free Enterprise. The article entitled, "Dreamers and Doers -Running a City Like His Business" brings national focus upon our mayor, the city of Springdale and Springdale's business community according to Perry Webb.

Mayor Sprouse being on the Board of Directors of the Chamber of Commerce is a serious conflict of interest since the mayor is directly involved in the decision to hand over taxpayer's money to the chamber.

The business of politics and the politics of business should be separate. Maybe this explains the slogan: Leading Business Leading Springdale. Can you do both at the same time? Should you?

Theatre 80 benefit for Mosaic Man Jim Power

Last night was the benefit for Jim Power at Theatre 80..While I can't say it was packed..it was pretty sparsely attended for sure..it was still fun. 3 films were shown, only one of which I caught. It was called What About Me and it was about a girl coming to NYC during the Tompkins riots and becoming homeless..It was kinda great. It had Johnny Thunders in it and Nick Zedd-along with a quick glimpse of Ray's Candy Store around 1990-1 when it was shot. It was very Jim Jarmusch-esque.

Then the bands played and we all had fun..Here's pics of John and I playing..holding up old guns..whee! guns!, Lorcan opening up some wine in an unusual manner, and Jim making a small speech.

Blonde Boy (Jay) Wilson played with his band, one of with Amy, Lorcan and I, more fun with guns, and Purple Pam singing with The Bowery Boys. I didn't get any pics of Bobby Steele but he sounded great. I think a few hundred dollars may have been raised for Jim.

Tomorrow I go to Memphis for the Folk Alliance which should be interesting. Hundreds of bands coming to play in on place in front of music execs in the hopes of getting signed..I'm picturing it something like American Idol where someone with a british accent will tell me I am absolutely dreadful. I'll take some pics down-be back next week!

Quote of the Day

"You are everything I want cause you are everything I'm not."

Benefit For Mosaic Man Jim Power tomorrow at Theatre 80

Tomorrow at 80 St. Marks Place there will be a benefit to raise money for Jim Power who does the beautiful mosaics you see everywhere on lamposts downtown..He has a bad hip and needs some dough bad..There will be 3 films shown I believe, plus 20-25 minute sets from local musicians such as The Bowery Boys with Purple Pam, John and I(East River String Band), Blonde Boy Wilson and Bobby Steele..It's at the newly redone Theatre 80!

Chamber of Commerce IRS 990 Filings


Wow, I've had 1800 tweets! I don't know if you can see that from this tiny picture, but yeah.

I'm quite a Twitter addict if you haven't known that already! I made new friends from here, and it's a great way to stay in touch with your old ones. So if you happen to be out there....:)


You know how easy it is for people to make promises? Why, don't they mean anything anymore? You think you are the only one who gets to feel?

Just save your sweet words, I need not be a part of it anymore.

Mr. Social Security, Gaga, and Miguel must be something special!

Well, I got a little pink camera so my blog is back bitches! First pic is of some gals at Ray's a few weeks ago who had just come from a Lady Gaga concert..They were very excited about this..and dressed up for it too..

Then there have been these stalker-ish flyers posted everywhere in my hood from some dame REALLY looking for Miguel after their special time at LIT and then the hotel. The flyer has way too much info on it-more than anyone needs to know. I love it! Does he have a magical penis? She REALLY wants to see him again!

Then I got some pics of an old doll I bought a few days ago..just thought it was great..Mr. Social Security hanging himself..old but a sign of the times. Speaking of LIT, I ended up there last night at 3am for some private party..it was fun dancing around to 80's music with a bunch of strangers until some guy told me I don't floss and when I insisted I did, he got angry and said I was ugly, dumb and had fucked up teeth...Now I may be ugly but I have good teeth and I shoore aint dummmb! Haw!

Anyway, it's good to be back here in the land of blogsville..On tuesday I will have more info about what is going on with Ray's Candy Store..and there is also a benefit for Jim Power the Mosaic Man at theatre 80 tuesday night. East River will play a 25 minute set I believe..I'll blog about that in a day or so.

I know what I did last night =)

Hi all! I wanna blog about the great day we had yesterday at East Coast! Anyway, we were all in dire need of physical exercise. I've probably ballooned for a few more kgs ever since I started working and thus, stopped running and working out.

Not saying that a day in the beach last evening has made up for any of my extreme pigginess for the past 2 months, but hey, at least it was something. (you all must love me for my positiveness, right?)

Started the day by going out for lunch. We figured it wasn't wise to head over to the beach when it was scorching hot out. And it was hot like an oven. Forecast said it would be a sunny day, definitely a good day to spend cycling under the sun.

This was us on our way out to lunch. We did some grocery shopping too afterwards, and the supermarket was super packed! The queues for the cashiers were like the longest snake you could ever think of. Chinese people really do take their lunar new year seriously. I know we are chinese too by race, but I feel so out of touch with my roots that I almost feel like a traitor to the culture or something.

Both my sisters in purple.

At about 4ish pm and the sun looked a little kinder, we set out to East Coast! I was so excited because..well, I'm always happy with anything involving beach and the ocean. (I should be a Leo instead of a Capricorn, don't you think?)

I was slightly nervous though, because the last time I went cycling with friends, I failed...miserably. I haven't been on the bike for so long, and I thought I could easily pick up where I left off. There's a saying "it's just like riding a bike" for a reason, isn't it?

But long story short, I was on the bike for probably 5 seconds before I pointed it straight to the tree and I fell. It didn't hurt more than it embarrassed my soul. For the rest of the evening, I pathetically rode behind my friend in a tandem bike. What a total loser!

And so we arrived at the beach! The smell of the ocean excited me, I was back to being 14 years old in the presence of such beauty. I was singing along until this came!

The bike that once defeated me. Now it was time for my redemption! Revenge! I must conquer this bike and I wouldn't stop otherwise! My little sister, Meli, was learning how to ride a bike there too, because apparently to my surprise, she didn't know how to.

My cousin was patiently teaching her while I was circling around in my bike too to test the water. I started out shaky and my hands were trembling, making the bike unstable. But I finally got the hang of it, and after a while, it was no problemo! Wooooo, so happy!

After the warm-up, off we went to cycle away! Loads of people were there, building camps and tents, having BBQs, walking their dogs, jogging, playing skateboards and merely just sitting around to enjoy the scenery. It was truly an idyllic evening. I was over the moon!

At the pier, the furthest our bikes could go. We went cycling for two hours, and as you could see, we had sweat all over our faces.

"We did it!"

It has been an awesome evening, but then we were hungry! Off we went to this place my colleague recommended once. The place was in the middle of nowhere, but it had famous spicy chicken wings in various levels. My colleague said she tried level 5 and nearly died. She said she had flashes.

Anyway, we ended up trying level 3 and 4 and if we weren't already full, we would have tried the next few levels, because level 4 was still okay for us. But we ordered pizza as well, and we were stuffed! Next time we definitely wanna try level 5 onwards.

I loved the bar though, it had that homey, intimate feel to it. And it was funny when I ordered a beer, the waiter came back to me and asked about my age, rather shyly. I answered, "23" and asked, "how old do you think I am?" He laughed before saying, "16..."

I didn't know if it was a compliment or not, but really, it's one thing to look young, it's quite another to look underage! I was almost insulted! But then I took a sip of that Hoegaarden and I was content. Ha!

Now a full and happy bunch.

What a Saturday! If only everyday could be spent like this. :)