This is news? Well....sort of.

So, 86 year old Hugh Hefner married a 26 year old. Ewwwww.  Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not against older guys going after younger women. But...really? A 60 year age difference? That's not robbing the cradle, that's....that's...robbing the mother's egg when the mother was like...20? I say again, ewwwwww. Hef's oldest daughter is 60. How would you like to be 60 and your stepmom be 26? I can't help myself....ewwwwwww.

We all know what the deal is. For her, it's about money and 'prestige'...I guess. For him...well, we know what it's about for him.

I think a line from a movie...which I've used before, is appropriate here. Olympia Dukakis as Rose, in Moonstruck, tells her cheating husband, Cosmo, "I just want you to know that no matter what you do, you're still gonna die. Just like everybody else."

Young, beautiful women are not the fountain of youth. If they were, Hef would still look like he was thirty. Their skin is still smooth, it's not wrinkled, and they look good. Other than that, I can't come up with anything else.

These two have absolutely nothing in common. Nothing. Except their desire to use people for their own purposes. Hugh Hefner has really been nothing more than a blight on the stage of America's worst. He's the poster child for rampant wantonness and unbridled lust. There are no barriers for him within those two categories. The only difference between him and John Holmes is that he didn't put his sexual exploits on film for all the public to see.

Some men see him as some kind of 'hero'. There's the Playboy Mansion, the riches, the constant and steady stream of beautiful, if not gorgeous (in a fleshly way) women. He's the poster boy for many males across the planet.

But, he's 86. What is he going to say to this woman? "Hey honey, can you come in here and change my colostomy bag?"  Or, "Hey baby, my Depends need changing."  How about, "No, darling...I don't need another Viagra. What are you trying to do...kill me?" Uh, probably.

The only worse thing that could come from this partnership would be if she got pregnant. Ewwwwww. That could only mean one thing. They actually DID it!!! Ewwwwww.

I'm sure, right now, she's thanking whatever deity she believes in for the 'Doggy Style' method. She'll probably be burying her face in a pillow and fantasizing about Brad Pitt while OLD pun intended, is grunting and grinding behind her. AAAGGGGHHHH!!!!! Ewwwwww.

There's one other thing I'm sure of. If there is an afterlife...which I believe there is...Anna Nicole Smith is trying to send a message to this poor girl from beyond the grave. It would probably read, "It's not worth it, baby girl. It's just not worth it."