Pee Pee Phone Goes Green.

The other night someone pointed out to me a situation that has possibly never happened before EVER. As crazy as this may sound..The Pee Pee phone was actually healthy for a brief period of time! There was a granola bar resting atop of it PLUS some kind of healthy smoothie type beverage placed in front of it. WHAT THE FUCK??!!!! Was someone jogging by and decided they needed to leave their healthy lifestyle behind and pick up a case of the clap? Did Richard Simmons jazzercise his way down Avenue A leaving these items in his wake? Did I just completely BLOW YOUR MIND??? A few hours later these items mysteriously went missing and were replaced by Colt 45 cans and wadded up tissues soaked with snot and possibly bird flu.
The NYC map lying on the ground suggests that it was not a local who placed the healthy stuff there...
I'm so broke right now and I was thinking to myself today..If someone randomly offered me 100 bucks to lick the Pee Phone for five whole minutes, would I consider it? Nah...i'd probably say no. Although if someone offered me a years subscription to CAT FANCY, that may be a different story! The subscription is only $3.95 a month but that's besides the point.