Whilst making a tinkle in the Tompkins Square Park bathroom the other night, I suddenly heard the sound of the door being shut and keys being jangled..I realized they were about to lock the door and I yelled, "Halt and desist!!!" They hadn't realized anyone was in there I guess...but would it really have been so bad if I had been locked in? I had food with me, water, and a plethora of toilets in which to make doody and peepee in. There weren't even any drunks or junkies camped out in the last stall! And best of all, there was the cutest lil roach on there named Shlomo! I named him Shlomo because he looked a little jewish to me. Isn't he adorable?? He has a kind, gentle face and you can tell he likes long walks on the beach and the amusing house wine at his local eatery. Oh the fun we could have had! We would have talked into the wee hours of the morning and confided our deepest secrets to one another...We might have even had a late night pillow fight had there been pillows laying about!
Then when they finally opened the bathroom doors at 7:00 a.m. to find me laying on the floor half mad with roaches and maggots feasting on my innards, the city would have had a big fat fucking lawsuit on their hands!!! JUST KIDDING!!! You know how I love to kid!
Anyhoo, on my way home later that evening I saw some police officers helping out two women who were from out of town. They had their car broken into and seemed pretty upset..Maybe they should have made a similar sign to the one I saw in the car featured in the bottom photo.