I guess by now most of you have known that I finally made the decision to resign from my current company. There’s a reason why I’ve been tight-lipped about the whole thing for a while because I feel that it’s unethical to blog about work. Up to now, I’ve never written in great details about what I do, because I’m afraid that someone might read. Which is silly, right? I have the motion in my head that only my friends read whatever I’m writing here, but once in a while someone I hardly expect to come across this blog, does.
But I’m not going to write off my current company because truth be told, I owe a lot to it. I mean, this is my first job, and I understand the trouble it has gone through just to get my working visa approved. It was a long and difficult process, and I would be grateful for everything it has done to help me.
Yes, it’s true. I simply got a better offer that I couldn’t refuse. You know that good opportunities don’t come by often, and I think I would regret not taking it if I ever look back. It pays better, the job scope is interesting, the nature of the business is something that I can more relate to, and even a small thing like, the close proximity of it to my house, eventually contributed into making up my mind. But aside from all that, if I’m truly happy with my current job, I would probably have to think twice about accepting the other offer.
Well, so now I guess I’m just gonna say it as it is. I haven’t been enjoying what I do for a while now, and I hate myself for it. I whine and moan an awful lot. I’m grumpy and easily irritable. My sisters and my friends who have seen me and heard yet another stories about my bad day kept telling me to do something. I keep telling myself that too, because I don’t want to spend 80% of my day, every day, being unhappy. And that’s what it is, really. Work has made up such a big portion of our day, and you just come to a point where you should know, enough is enough.
I can’t even be objective anymore, in a way that I refuse to listen to criticisms because when you receive so many mean criticisms in a day, it’s hard to tell the constructive ones from the rest and you just end up muting everything else. I don’t even know whether some of the mistakes I made were because of my own lack of knowledge and attention, or simply just lack of examples?
I’m just not suitable for it. At times I feel out of place because of the language barrier. And some people are just setting bad examples with their language choices. Instead of being supporting and encouraging, some are condescending and embarrassing.
But from the beginning I’ve told myself that when it comes to work, you’re bound to come across people that are more difficult. And I don’t want to just be someone that comes to work for a few months, and leave at the first exit. To be honest, I had my good moments here too. I met great people that I work with that I can truly call friends; I gain more experience and confidence in talking and interviewing people. And it’s always great being able to write.
But there’s surely something more than just being able to bring some money home every month? What about a sense of accomplishment and happiness in day-to-day life? What about meeting friends and being able to truly say that you enjoy what you do, that you don’t feel like you’re dreading the next day of work?
Ah. Perhaps you may call me cliché.
And then I met a friend of mine who once offered me a position and found out that she indeed, was still looking. And so I tried, and it came through seamlessly. All my family members and my friends were encouraging me to take it, but I even ended up defending my current job, perhaps because I was scared to make such a big move. It’s easier to just stay, right?
But ultimately, you’ve got to do what’s right for you. And I finally made the decision. I am really glad that after talking to my boss, she was surprisingly cool about it. And once again, I’m not diminishing the value of what the company has done for me, and for that, I’m really grateful and appreciative.
Nah, I’m still going to work here in my current company until next week, so don’t start asking me “how’s your new job?” yet, it’s a little premature. Haha. But yeah. I’m excited for the new start! I am positive and ever-so-ready for the change, and I believe I can learn an even whole lot and be better. I guess it’s fair to say that it will be a huge next step in my life. And I intend to enjoy the ride this time around.